Differences
by Mystrothedefender
Summary: Feliciano has a hard time coming to terms with himself, maybe help from his friends will help him. Transgender!Italy
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, this is in the same AU as my Trans!Mpreg!Italy, however it will include no Mpreg.**

Feliciano looked through the dresses in his wardrobe, frowning softly as he tried to pick one he liked. That was the trouble though. They all looked nice, but given the choice he wouldn't wear any of them. He'd been living with Elizabeth and Roderich for half a year, and they kept pushing these frilly things on him.

They were nice but in his mind's eye they just didn't suit him. He wasn't sure why. He liked how extravagant and pretty the were, he loved the details, but he didn't like wearing them.

Perhaps…

No that would be stupid.

He frowned. No, it wasn't stupid…

He walked across the hall to Roderich's room, quietly looking through his draws and wardrobe, picking out a shirt, some trousers and an old blue jacket, Roderich hadn't worn them In ages so Feliciano was sure they wouldn't be missed

he dressed and admired himself in the mirror. It didn't fit as well but… it felt better. He instantly felt a lot happier like a weight had been lifted from him.

he began cleaning the house, promptly forgetting that he wasn't wearing his own clothes. He smiled as he heard the front door open, shouting a hello as he heard Elizabeth walking into the house.

Elizabeth entered the living room, the smile on her face dropping slightly as she saw him, "Why are you wearing Roderich's clothes?"

Feliciano looked down at himself, his own smile fading as he remembered what he was wearing, "Oh," he said quietly, feeling himself blush, "I just… felt like wearing them," he looked down, "Sorry, should I go and change..?"

"No, you don't have to," she said slowly, "its just a little weird." she smiled again, "But you might want to change before Gilbert comes over. His brother's home from college so he's bringing him, you'll want to make a good impression."


	2. Chapter 2

Feliciano looked up and down the street, smoothing out the creases on his new shirt: Ludwig was late. From what Feliciano knew of him this was very unusual.

A smile filled his face as he saw the German walking towards him, he waved happily and walked up to him, trying not to stumble in the new heels that Elizabeth had insisted he wear.

"Hi," he said happily, pulling the taller man into a hug.

"Good evening Feliciana," Ludwig purred in return, the tone of his voice making Feliciano blush slightly, though he forced himself to ignore the small pang he felt at the sound of his name.

He pulled out of the hug, still smiling, "You're _late,_" he said pointedly, "I thought you were never late."

Ludwig held out his arm, showing the watch on his wrist, "I'm on time by my watch."

Feliciano frowned slightly, looking down at his own watch, "Oh," he said almost sadly, "Mine must be fast then…"

"Well I hope I didn't worry you," he said softly as he began to walk down the road, letting Feliciano lead him towards the art gallery he'd suggested.

It was the last day of this exhibit and Feliciano's last chance to show off his artwork to anyone in such a setting; Feliciano worked in the gallery and the painting had been included as a favour to him when he left, he doubted his work would ever get into a place like this again. He was a hobbyist, not a serious artist, it was obvious to anyone with an eye for art.

As they walked through the gallery Ludwig didn't seem to be paying very much attention to the paintings, taking his eyes off Feliciano was a rarity.

"You've had your hair cut," he observed after a few minutes.

Feliciano glance down, his smile slipping slightly, "Oh, uh, yes, do you like it?"

Ludwig nodded, "Yes, it's nice… It's quite short."

Feliciano bit his lip softly, "Yeah," he said quietly, "I might get it shorter next time." He looked up at Ludwig, "You wouldn't mind that would you?"

The blond man shook his head, frowning slightly, "Of course not, it's your hair Feliciana, you can do whatever you want."

Feliciano felt his insides twitch at the mention of his name again, he swallowed hard before continuing. "…I decided not to wear a dress today either," he said in almost a whisper.

Ludwig nodded, "I noticed… you didn't seem comfortable in your dress at dinner. You still look nice though."

The smaller man felt himself smile, a slight warmth filling his chest, he wasn't sure why hearing that made him feel so happy.

They walked around the gallery together, Feliciano leading Ludwig slowly towards his painting, stopping him in front of it and letting him look it over.

"You painted this?" he asked, gesturing to the sign next to it with the artist's name.

Feliciano nodded, frowning slightly as the look on Ludwig's face, "…Don't you like it?"

Ludwig shook his head, glancing between the painting and Feliciano, "It's sad," he stated bluntly, frowning at Feliciano, "Feliciana why would you paint something like this..?"

He swallowed hard and shrugged, glancing down at his feet, "I don't know," he said quietly.

"Feliciana there's got to be a reason."

He let out a small huff, suddenly feeling tears well in his eyes and his lip quiver, "I-I don't know," he said again, his voice cracking slightly.

Ludwig frowned, "Then why are you upset? Feliciana, please tell me."

He shook his head, "I-I…" he stuttered slightly, wiping the tears out of his eyes, "I don't know. I've just… I feel so strange and I don't know why."

Ludwig chewed his lip, "You're not ill are you?"

Feliciano shook his head, taking in a deep breath, "…I used to think everyone felt like me, but I talked to Elizabeth about it, and she doesn't feel like this."

"Like what?" Ludwig asked, frowning through confusion.

"She likes wearing her dresses, she likes her body and she likes her name," he let out a small whimper, wiping his eyes again, "I like you, Ludwig, but whenever you say my name I feel sick, I hate it."

Ludwig's frowned softened, he sucked his lip softly and let out a small hum, "Well, then, what would you prefer me to call you?"

Feliciano stilled, pursing his lips and frowning, "I don't know… I don't know, but not Feliciana."

Ludwig smiled softly, "How about Daisy? That's a lovely name."

He shook his head again, blinking rapidly, "No, that's even worse… I don't like _any _girls names."

Ludwig shifted uncomfortably, "Then you want a boys name..?" he asked softly, trying to sound encouraging.

Feliciano felt his fists clench, he felt so confused; how was he meant to explain how he felt to Ludwig without knowing himself?

He paused for a moment, letting himself calm down before he answered, "…Yeah. I think so."

Ludwig swallowed hard and nodded, "Ok," he said sternly, "Then for the rest of today I won't call you by your name, and when you decided what you want me to call you, I'll call you that."

Feliciano felt a smile fill his face, he nodded softly and took a step forward to hug Ludwig tightly, "Thank you Ludwig…"

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapters for this are not coming out as long as I expected them to, but whatever.**

Feliciano looked down at his phone that evening, he'd not received a single text from Ludwig since their date had ended almost 6 hours ago.

They'd not gone this long without texting since they'd exchanged numbers. It was a little worrying, but Feliciano didn't want to text first.

Since their talk he'd looked through several baby name sites, he'd found himself gravitating towards the boys names as he'd expected, but none of them seemed to fit him, every now and then he'd see one that he liked and say to himself, "Hi, my name's Luca," or "Harry" or "Georgio," but nothing seemed to feel right.

He let out a small sigh as he looked at page 12 of the third online baby name dictionary he'd found and scrolled around three quarters of the way down, checking off each name with a shake of his head.

His eyes widened slightly, his lips parting at the sight of the name Feliciano. That was perfect. It was the male version of his birth name how had he not thought of it?

"Hi," he said quietly to himself, "My name is Feliciano."

A wide smile filled his face, it fit so well, it seemed so perfect, "Feliciano," he repeated to himself, drawing out the word in his mouth, snapping it, almost singing it. He let out a small chuckle, his insides squirming through happiness.

He needed to tell someone. He pulled out his phone and began to type a message to Ludwig, he after all was the only person he'd told about all this so far.

It seemed easier to talk to him about it, maybe it was because he was a new person or… he wasn't sure.

'Feliciano, that's my new name!'

Feliciano smiled as he sent the message, laying on the bed on his stomach and throwing his feet up behind him, using his pillow to prop up his chin as he waited for Ludwig's reply, looking up the name's meaning.

Feliciano giggled softly, typing another message out 'It means happy! Isn't that perfect!'

He smiled at the word, letting out a small sigh and saying it to himself again. He felt so happy.

He jolted slightly as his phone began to buzz in his hand and Ludwig's name flash on the screen.

He stuttered slightly as he answered: He'd never actually spoken to Ludwig over the phone, they'd only texted or talked in person before now.

"H-hello?" he said with a soft smile.

"Hello Feliciano," Ludwig purred down the phone, the tone of voice that he seemed to only use on him. "I like the name, you're right it is perfect."

Feliciano smiled widely at the sound of the name said by another person, being called the name that fit him so well. It felt so good, it made him feel so warm.

"It is," he cooed softly, "I love it so much…"

"You sound very happy Feliciano," Ludwig said happily, as if Feliciano's own euphoria was affecting him as well.

He nodded to himself, putting the phone on speaker and placing it on one of his cushions, smiling at it intently, "I am very happy."

Ludwig let out a small chuckle, staying silent for a moment before letting out a small sigh, "I'm happy you're happy Feliciano," he said softly.

Feliciano felt himself blushing again, the warmth in his chest growing each time Ludwig said his name.

"I like my name," he said softly, feeling his face grow hot, "It sounds so nice."

"Well I want you to be happy," Ludwig said softly, "You like when I say your name, Feliciano?"

Feliciano nodded, feeling tears begin to prick his eyes, he smiled, thankful Ludwig couldn't see as he wiped his eyes, "Yeah," he said weakly, his voice cracking a little.

"Are you crying?" Ludwig said, sounding a little shocked, "Have I upset you?"

"No," he almost whimpered, feeling his throat tighten.

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I can stop if you want," Ludwig pleaded.

"No," Feliciano said shortly, shaking his head, "I like it, I-I'm just happy Ludwig."

He lay on his stomach, staring at the phone as Ludwig talked. "Well I'm glad you're happy Feliciano, but I don't want you crying."

Feliciano forced a chuckle, "I'm fine Ludwig, I'm just so happy. Feliciano is such a perfect name."

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	4. Chapter 4

"I hope you don't mind coming along with me today," Feliciano said quietly as they got out of the car, smiling softly at the older man and reaching out to hold his hand as they walked towards the shopping centre.

He thought it would be a good idea to bring a guy with him on this expedition, just to help him out, make him feel less self-conscious, give him someone to hide behind in case things did begin to go awry.

"I don't mind," Ludwig said with a smile, "I like shopping, I can help you pick things out. Have you ever gone shopping for masculine clothes before?"

Feliciano shook his head, still feeling a little mousey "No," he said quietly before forcing his smile a little wider, "I wanted to save up my wages and come on a proper trip."

"I thought you were unemployed?" Ludwig asked. Feliciano had explained him at the gallery that he'd just left, and that's why his painting was on display.

He shook his head, "No I'm not, I have a job at a new company that organises artwork being moved, I mean, I know I won't get to be around the art anymore which is sad, but it's a higher up job and I get paid more, and if I work really hard I could be a curator one day."

Ludwig nodded along as he rambled on about his new job, "And you want to be a curator Feliciano?"

Feliciano felt himself blush at the sound of his name, after almost a week it was still felt almost like a shock when he heard it. He glanced at him and nodded, "Si I do, more than anything. I'm not good enough to be in a museum myself yet, and I _love_ all the old pieces and if I work at a museum I get to study them for my job," he shook his head, letting out a small sigh, "It would be so amazing."

"Then I hope it works out for you," Ludwig said, still smiling softly.

They walked into the shop and Ludwig let Feliciano browse the clothes, following and observing him but not saying anything unless the smaller man prompted him.

Soon enough Feliciano had a small pile of clothes.

"You need to try them on first," Ludwig prompted him, he nodded and smiled, taking Ludwig's hand and leading him towards the dressing room, he was surprised by how well the trip had gone, by how few weird looks he'd gotten, though he supposed it was possible that everyone who'd seen them had thought Feliciano was picking out clothes for Ludwig.

Feliciano suddenly felt timid as he shut himself in one cubicles, letting out a soft exhale as he began to change, he felt himself shake slightly as he looked at himself in the mirror, he looked so…

He let out a small sob, smiling as he sat on the bench, he wiped his eyes, looking at himself in the mirror.

He looked amazing.

He jolted as he heard a knock at the door, Ludwig's voice coming muffled through it.

"Feliciano are you ok?" he asked softly, Feliciano could hear soft scratching against the door which meant Ludwig had pressed himself up the door, he felt his smile grow slightly.

"Yeah I'm fine," he said shakily, wiping his eyes and stepping forward to open the door, letting out a tiny sob as Ludwig looked him up and down.

"Y-you look great," he stuttered, reaching out to rub his arm.

Feliciano nodded, smiling and wiping his eyes again, "I know, I look so pretty," he squeaked.

Ludwig nodded, "Yeah you do," he let out a soft chuckle, "Do you want to try the rest on?"

Feliciano shook his head, "No I got everything the same size, if I don't like it I'll just bring it back."

"Ok," Ludwig cooed, "Do you want to wear these out?"

Feliciano nodded again, picking up the rest of his clothes and taking Ludwig's hand. As nice as it was having him here it felt almost like he was a child out shopping with his father, a small part of him wished he'd had the courage to come on his own.

He used his card to pay and watched as the woman bagged his new clothes, he'd overspent a little but he could live with eating only pasta for a week or so.

He was getting more strange looks now, and he couldn't help feeling a little shy as he felt eyes pin on him.

It was no problem, he told himself, they were just admiring him, he had nothing to worry about.

He forced the smile to stay on his face until he sat down in the car, still shaking slightly.

"Are you ok?" Ludwig asked, his voice filled with concern.

Feliciano nodded, "Yeah," he said, trying to sound cheery, "Just, people were staring at me."

"Of course they were," Ludwig said with a soft, genuine smile, "You look amazing."

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	5. Chapter 5

**Before I start I want to address this comment, coz I ****_really_**** wanted to reply to it:**

**AwesomeOne: Yeah I forgot to log in ... As much as I love this Idea I find it very unrealistic..  
>Feliciano or Feliciana is trying to be a guy (that cool) expect I find it very Hard that Ludwig would be okay with . Since he was in love with a girl who then just decide to be a guy one day. I love the dialogue between the two but I do find it real hard of believe that he would be okay unless he was secretly wanted Italy to be a guy from the start . Which I guess is okay.. Sorry to be the BuzzKill here .<br>Anyway I love the Relationship between the character like this Sibling bond between Elizabeth and Felicaino . It really cute . Your grammar is awesome . Anyway Keep up the good work**

**-Ludwig and Feliciano are not going out yet, they've been on one date, and Feliciano isn't fully out as trans yet. On top of that, most of what I write on this subject are based on my personal experiences: most of my friends have been accepting, and my boyfriend of 5 years was actually the one to suggest I change my name and he helped me decide on a name, and I can assure you no he didn't know I was a guy when we started going out, so no, it's not at all unrealistic for someone who loves you to be ok with you coming out as transgender.  
>I also have problems with the way you're worded your comment: Feliciano isn't trying to be a guy, or deciding to be one, he is realising that he is one. I know this might sound nit-picky to you but wording it like that is kinda insulting.<strong>

Elizabeth knocked on Feliciano's door, waiting for Feliciano to welcome her in before opening the door.

Feliciano smiled at her from the bed where he sat with his laptop, "Hi," he said cheerily.

She smiled as she walked over, sitting on the bed. "So, is Ludwig still coming over today?"

Feliciano nodded happily, closing his laptop and putting it on the bedside tablet. "Si, he'll be here in about half an hour, I cleaned and everything."

"So," she cooed, her voice soft and song like, "Is it bad?"

He frowned softly, feeling a slight barrier raise inside himself, she couldn't possibly know what was going on. "Is what bad?"

She raised an eyebrow, "You're bringing a boy home to meet us, you've never done that before."

"Oh," he swallowed hard, glancing down, "No, I mean…" he cleared his throat, he'd not considered a conversation like this happening. He forced a small chuckle, "We've only been on one date Elizabeth."

"Well it must have been a good one," she said with a smirk.

Feliciano huffed, "Elizabeth," he said playfully, "No, he's just my friend."

Elizabeth huffed softly, still smiling slyly, "Feliciana, everyone knows boys and girls can't just be friends."

Feliciano frowned at her, a slight anger rising in him, "Who are you to talk? _All_ of your friends are guys."

She nodded, "Yeah, but I went out with most of them at some point."

"…You shouldn't say things like that," he said weakly.

The woman chuckled and gave his arm a playful shove, "I'm just teasing Feli. So he's really just a friend?"

He shrugged, trying to keep eye contact, "Well, at the moment, yeah."

Truly he wasn't sure when he was to Ludwig. They'd been on a date and Feliciano really liked him, but he wasn't sure how Ludwig would feel dating someone… like him, someone so unsure of themselves, someone who wasn't comfortable in their own skin.

He cleared his throat and got to his feet, stretching slightly, "Uh, I should probably get changed. Can you tell me when Ludwig's here please?"

Elizabeth nodded, "Uh, ok, you're not going to let him in yourself?"

Feliciano frowned softly, "You know him already Elizabeth, you're the one who introduced us."

Why was Elizabeth acting so weird? If anything Feliciano should be the one acting weird.

He had the whole afternoon planned out; after Elizabeth announced that Ludwig had arrived he'd emerge from the room wearing some of the masculine clothing he'd picked out, and he'd announce that he'd prefer to be called Feliciano.

It was going to be so much better with Ludwig there, helping to explain what was going on.

Though, if Feliciano was to be honest with himself, this went a lot deeper than just names and clothing, he'd noticed himself becoming irritated whenever someone referred to him as a girl… he wasn't sure if he'd only just began to feel it, or if he'd just began to notice it.

He wasn't sure, but he wanted to get this out of the way. The first step of many, maybe.

As he finished dressing someone knocked on his door, Feliciano smiled as he heard Roderich's voice.

"Feli, Ludwig's here," he said sharply, "You know you're being very rude by keeping him waiting for you."

"Sorry," he called through the door, pulling his hoodie over his head and walking out, smiling at the older man as he walked out quickly and into the livingroom, finding Ludwig sitting there.

They smiled at the sight of each other, Feliciano walked up to him and sat at his side on the sofa. "Hi," he said softly, hearing his voice quiver.

"Hi," Ludwig replied, "Are you ok? You're ready?"

Feliciano nodded, letting out a small breath. "Uh, guys?" he said loudly, trying not to sound timid, "I need to tell you something."

The two filed in, Elizabeth smiling softly at him. "We thought you would have wanted some time to yourself."

Feliciano shook his head, standing, hoping it would help him feel more confident, smiling weakly as Ludwig lifted himself to stand next to him.

"Uh, I had something to tell you two, actually, uh, it's a bit weird though, I think." He cleared his throat, digging his nails into his palms and forcing himself to speak, "I don't want you to call me Feliciana anymore, I want you to call me Feliciano."

The pair frowned at him, Elizabeth being the first to speak up. "Why would you want that..?"

"She just doesn't feel comfortable with her name," Ludwig tried to explain.

"What?" Elizabeth frowned, "But Feliciana is such a lovely name."

Feliciano frowned, "I just don't like it. It doesn't feel right."

"It doesn't feel right?" Roderich echoed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, letting out a soft his as he said "Kids…"

Feliciano felt a strange tension rise in his chest, he felt like he was going to cry. He felt himself jump as something touched his arm, he looked down to Ludwig's hand on him. He swallowed hard, looking up at Roderich.

"You don't have to like my decision, but, can you do it anyway?" he felt his voice faltering slightly, "Please?"

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**Sorry about the comment at the beginning but I just felt that I had to say something.**


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